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Kilig

ano nga ba ang kilig?

bakit tayo kinikilig?

para saan ba ang kilig.?

kilig
to tremble, shudder

kiligin
to be tickled pink

for example :

When a young Filipina gets the opportunity to see her favorite movie star in the flesh, she experiences kilig.

Kinilig ako nang makita ko ang crush ko.
I shuddered in delight when I saw my crush.

Sino bang hindi kikiligin kung makita si Brad Pitt?
Who wouldn’t be tickled pink upon laying eyes on Brad Pitt?
 
oh di ba may example pa lolz…
parang pbb teens lng lolz
kailan nga ba tayo dapat kiligin?
sabi nila ang mga boyz daw ay kinikilig pag nag jijingle… ang girls din kaya kinikilig pag nag jingle sila hmmm…
 
may tamang lugar ba ang kilig? o may tamang oras ba ang kilig?
parang pbbteens lng kung kiligin… hahahaha hug mo ko hug mo ko lolz
 
may pinipili bang idad ang kilig? o may pinipili bang antas o estado ng buhay ang kilig? ito ba ay para sa lalaki at babae lng o pwede ring sa lalake at lalake at babae sa babae?
 
hay naku…daming tanong kung bakit hahaha bkit ko nga ba tinatanong ito? sa aking pantaha sigurado akong hindi lang ako ang nag tatanong kung ano nga ba talaga ang kilig,
 
sa aking sariling depinisyon, masasabi kong ang kilig ay isang pakiramdam kapag nakita mo o nasilayan mo ang isang taong lihim mong hinahangan, maaring ito ay artista, politiko o kahit ba ang iyong kapitbahay at kaibigan, sa pang araw araw karaniwan na itong nararamdaman, na ang mga tao matanda man o bata, teenager man o hindi, ay siguradong kinikilig. hahaha… ikaw kinilig ka na ba?
 
sa aking pagsulat ang daming kong kilig na naaalala… hahaha pero hindi ko na iisa-isahin kasi masyado madami.
 
pero bakit nga ba tayo KINIKILIG?
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Moview Review

Will post soon hehehehe

:(

im not the boss, but i act always like a boss, lalo na pagdating sa report sa mga big boss, pero pag dating sa department nmin im still the boss pag dating sa boss ko. kasi nauutusan ko sya. but then syempre sya pa rin ung boss ko… inuutasan ko sya na utusan nya ung mga staff nya. hay naku…. badtrip tong araw na to. wala ung boss ko, im really so busy….

MISS

i really miss going out with my friends, its been a busy day for me this fast few days, few weeks, & few months… lolz i hope to have some time for a vacation… i miss my family, fiends & myself, i think a missing myself bec of what happening to me lately, to my work & and esp to my self,….. hmmmmm ho to get a vacation soon…. miss you all

Rejection…

Rejection

The word “rejection” was first used in 1415.[citation needed] The original meaning was “to throw” or “to throw back”.

Our sense of rejection tells us that we care about the other person and that we care about some part of ourselves or our activities. The other element I think that contributes to how intensely we feel rejection is how it is done. by Evan Hadkins

We don’t like rejection, and yet it can be a bit puzzling why we don’t. To explain why I’m puzzled I’d like to tell a brief story.

Imagine a body-builder walks into the office of a body oriented psychotherapist. The body builder has been working out for years and so has ‘good development’ in the eyes of other body builders (his musculature is well defined and so on). The body oriented psychotherapist tells the body builder that he is ‘armoured’ in the eyes of body oriented psychotherapists (the musculature doesn’t allow free flowing expression of emotion and so on). Would the body builder experience this as a kind of rejection?

If it is experienced as rejection, what is being rejected? The muscular development remains the same before and after the body oriented psychotherapist’s comment. The body builder is still the same person.

If I was to imagine myself as this bodybuilder I would perhaps feel that my whole prior commitment was being questioned. If so, I would experience the body oriented psychotherapist’s comment as a rejection.

Could I imagine not perceiving the comment as a rejection? I think so. I might dismiss the body oriented psychotherapist as not worth listening to — perhaps because he has poor muscular development, for instance.

Why We Feel Rejection

It seems to me that the sting of rejection is in proportion to how much we care about the person rejecting us. Our feeling of rejection shows how much we care about the other person.

Being told we have done a bad job, or even that we have done something bad, is different to being told that we are a bad person.

I think too that what is being rejected makes a difference. There is a difference between criticising our actions and our selves. “Being told we have done a bad job, or even that we have done something bad, is different to being told that we are a bad person.”

The intensity of the feeling of rejection depends not only on how much we care about the other person, but also on how much we care about what is being criticised.

If you were to say that a painting I have done is rubbish, I would probably agree with little trouble. (I’m not much good at painting — what happens in layers of paint I find baffling.) To say this to someone who is a painter may be very different. If you were to criticise my writing it may bother me more. We have a sense that some things are more important to us than others.

For many of us our sexuality is very close to our sense of who we are. Rejection of an invitation to go out can be felt very deeply. Rejection of an invitation to collaborate on a work project may be felt less deeply — even though the project may take up much more of our lives than a night out.

Our sense of rejection tells us that we care about the other person and that we care about some part of ourselves or our activities. The other element I think that contributes to how intensely we feel rejection is how it is done. Criticism can be voiced kindly or harshly. Having someone ignore me is different to them engaging in a tirade detailing what they dislike about me. It makes a difference to me if I think someone is being cruel or unfair.

They had just got married after a short passionate affair. The girl had been my wife’s friend for many years. They had visited our house for a friendly courtesy visit. But, they had no courtesies for us. All their courtesies were for each other. All attempts to make conversation with them failed since they were either trying to talk to each other or were just staring at each other. When snacks were served, they picked up only one plate. The boy started spoon-feeding the girl who in turn was spoon-feeding the boy. This display of mutual adoration and absorption left us deeply embarrassed. They had visited our house and we were feeling as if we were intruding on their privacy. Thankfully, they departed soon after.

In our hearts, we remembered them and even wished them well, but we lost contact with them. It just did not seem proper to intrude on their privacy and visit them or even call them telephonically. Years passed.

Almost six years after their visit to our house, one evening, we met the boy in a children’s park. No, he was no longer a boy. He was now a man. He looked older, more mature and even a bit tired. A young girl aged about four and a half years was holding his hand. We guessed that the girl was his daughter. After the initial courtesies, we enquired about his wife. He told us that his wife had gone to her mother’s house a week back and for some time he was doing babysitting. This sounded strange to us. We guessed that something was amiss.

A few weeks later she came back from her mother’s house. She rang up my wife and talked for a long time. She bitterly complained about her husband’s rude and violent behavior. We had enough worries of our own and had no intentions to get involved with their marital problems. Time kept passing. We heard that they lived a bad married life – husband often assaulted the wife, she used to go away to her mother’s wife and return when he apologized. This pattern continued for many years. A few years back, we heard that the husband was involved with another girl. And then, last year finally came the news that he was living with that other girl and had filed for divorce. At the time of writing, the wife lives with her mother and daughter, struggling to delay and obstruct the divorce proceedings.

That is a true story – tragic, but true nevertheless. Unfortunately, one keeps hearing more and more of such sad stories where boy meets girl; they fall madly in love; they get married; but they do not live happily ever after. Based on such instances, some (especially Indians) have a tendency to criticize all love marriages and argue for arranged marriages. Some others tend to look down at love as a temporary and unreliable phenomenon. However, the reality is that in all such cases, there is just no love – neither when the two are doting over each other nor at any time thereafter. Most such cases are of obsession by one or the other and in a few rare cases of both being obsessed with each other.

The word, “obsess” (or “to be obsessed”) is defined by Concise Oxford Dictionary as “preoccupy continually or to a troubling extent”. Obsession can be for a person or thing or act. It is a psychological condition that in its extreme form needs medical attention. The person affected by an obsession desires the object of his obsession with enormous passion, ferocity and even madness. When the object of obsession is a person of opposite sex, there is a tendency to confuse the obsession with love. However, there is a fundamental difference between love and obsession.

Love is focused and centered on the needs of the beloved. Obsession, in contrast, is self-centered. The obsessed is always focused on his (or her) own desires and the object of obsession is incidental. Love treats the beloved as a human being and in extreme cases lovers treat love and beloved as divine. For the obsessed the centre of his attention is an object with no desires, no life independent of the intense desire that the obsessed has for the object. He (or she) is almost like a child who is mad for a toy and will take the toy with him (or her) to bed, to garden, and even to the toilet. But if one day the toy hurts the child, there is immediate rejection. The child is now looking for a new toy while the old one is thrown mercilessly into the dustbin.

Obsession is, unlike love, not just passionate; it is ferocious and cruel. The pathos of cruelty that an obsessed displays can be seen in an innocent form in the craving that a child has for a favorite toy. Take the favorite toy away and the child will cry for days and may even stop eating food. The child can be cruel to himself in such a situation. The same cruelty may turn outwards to the toy when the toy is no longer the favorite one. An adult, who expresses obsession in terms of erotic love, is even more dangerous. He (or she) may go to any extent to get the object of his (or her) desire and may even turn violent if the object is taken away. Intensity of such passion is destructive in case of any denial; the obsessed one either destroys oneself or destroys the object of obsession. Newspapers are full of stories of some young boy or girl committing suicide after being turned down. One also hears stories of some boy killing or throwing acid on the face of his girl friend after knowing that she is getting married to someone else.

Violence at denial is only one facet of obsession. The other facet of violence manifests when the obsessed gets hold of and becomes the owner of the object of his desire. No, they do not live happily thereafter. The relationship of the obsessed one with the object of obsession is not a relationship of caring. It is a relationship of power, a display of brutishness, a game of ego. The ownership has to be absolute, to the exclusion of everyone else, and the obsessed needs to demonstrate it every moment to get any pleasure from it. One is not concerned if this stifles or even hurts the object of obsession. Too bad, if it does. The case is typical of a child who sees a beautiful singing bird in the garden, gets hold of it and puts it in a glass jar besides his table, without any concern for the life of the bird. By the end of the day the bird is dead and the child is back in the garden looking for a fresh bird.

Surely, it is very difficult to distinguish between love and obsession during the initial stages of a relationship. But some telltale signs should not be ignored. Let us say that a girl has to decide whether her boy friend is treating her as an object of obsession or as his beloved. Some of the questions that she must ask herself are as follows:

  • Does he accept me as I am or does he want me to make some changes to my appearance or dress or hairstyle or even my career?
  • How does he react to my friends, relatives, family members, colleagues and acquaintances? Do all these appear as pests to him and he wishes to have me all by himself or does he genuinely enjoy meeting everyone who is dear and near to me?
  • How does he handle disagreement with me? Does he get disturbed when I have an independent opinion or does he welcome it?
  • In a public place or when introducing to friends or relatives, does he show me off as if I am a trophy that he has won?
  • Does he want to be with me at all times (either physically or by telephone) so much so that I find myself getting cut off even from my family? Does his continuous preoccupation with me has started affecting adversely his or my job and normal life routines?
  • Would he still care for me if I denied to him what he craves for most? (This may be sex or may be something else) One may also ask the question, would he love me even if due to some reasons beyond my control, I cannot meet him or talk to him for one year?
  • Are his expressions of passion interspersed with occasional threats of termination of relationship?
  • Last but not the least, how do I feel when I am with him? Do I feel strong, comfortable and relaxed? Or do I feel weak, tensed up, on my toes, centre of attention but not relaxed?

The above questions have been written in first person as if a woman is thinking about a man. They will not change much if a man has to ask similar questions about a woman. In either case, being an object of obsession is painful and more often than not tragic.

Confusing obsession with caring selfless love and becoming an object of obsession amounts to stepping unwittingly into the greatest tragedy of one’s life. It is like drinking poison when one wants to drink milk.

My wife’s friend and her husband were obsessed with each other. There was intensity of desire but no caring, no sharing and no desire to give joy. The focus was on one’s own desires and possibly on getting pleasure. It is not unlikely that one of the two was obsessed, while the other was just playing along and reciprocating actions in a loveless mechanical way. Irrespective of whether one of the two was obsessed or both were obsessed, lives of both have been ruined.

It may be too late to do anything about the lives that have already been ruined. But, there may be many other cases where it may not be too late. Caution against falling into a trap of obsession is necessary because obsession ruins both – the obsessed as well as the object of obsession. Moreover, it gives love a bad name. Let us spread love that is truly divine and gives freedom. Let us be on guard against the pathos of obsession that stifles and chokes.

ANIL CHAWLA

30 April 200

Is it Really love or just an Obssescion?

Love is the emotion of strong affection and personal attachment.[1] In philosophical context, love is a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection. In religious context, love is not just a virtue, but the basis for all being (“God is love[2]), and the foundation for all divine law (Golden Rule).

The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure (“I loved that meal”) to intense interpersonal attraction (“I love my wife”). “Love” can also refer specifically to the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love, to the sexual love of eros (cf. Greek words for love), to the emotional closeness of familial love, or to the platonic love that defines friendship,[3] to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love. [4] This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.

Impersonal love

A person can be said to love an object, principle, or goal if they value it greatly and are deeply committed to it. Similarly, compassionate outreach and volunteer workers’ “love” of their cause may sometimes be borne not of interpersonal love, but impersonal love coupled with altruism and strong political convictions. People can also “love” material objects, animals, or activities if they invest themselves in bonding or otherwise identifying with those things. If sexual passion is also involved, this condition is called paraphilia.[9]

Interpersonal love

Interpersonal love refers to love between human beings. It is a more potent sentiment than a simple liking for another. Unrequited love refers to those feelings of love that are not reciprocated. Interpersonal love is most closely associated with interpersonal relationships. Such love might exist between family members, friends, and couples. There are also a number of psychological disorders related to love, such as erotomania.

Throughout history, philosophy and religion have done the most speculation on the phenomenon of love. In the last century, the science of psychology has written a great deal on the subject. In recent years, the sciences of evolutionary psychology, evolutionary biology, anthropology, neuroscience, and biology have added to the understanding of the nature and function of love.

Obssesion

Obsessive love is a form of love where one person is emotionally obsessed with another.

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